Tonight my wife has been asked to speak to a group of Christian girls on the issues of dating, purity, relationships, etc. As part of that, the youth pastor of this church asked if I would write a letter to the group of young women from a guy's point of view. Now, I can't say as I remember ever having written a letter to a group of teenage girls but I do have some pretty strong feelings about the way our culture has portrayed love, marriage and particularly women. So, what I would like to do in this post is reproduce for you some of this letter. I may add some here and subtract some there but I want this to be my letter to all the Christian, young ladies out there.
What I want to do, through this letter, is share some things from a “guys” point of view because it’s no secret that we see things a little differently than you ladies do. You may think that all we think about is short shorts and tank tops and for some guys that’s true. However, there are some out there, in my opinion the good ones, who actually care about who you are more than what you are, or what you look like. Please don’t let movies, TV, Facebook and all the rest fool you into believing the lies that they try to feed you. In God’s eyes you are valuable treasures. Just look at what His word says about women in Proverbs 31. This is not a description of low-hanging fruit or a slab of meat displayed in a storefront.
I suspect that most of you dream of meeting “Mr. Right” someday and that’s great. The best advice I can give you to help you find him is to seek God first and foremost. If you place God at the top of your priority list He promises that all the other pieces of your life will fall into place and guess what…who you will marry is a huge piece of your life! Here’s the kicker, and what I think many teenagers (both guys and girls) overlook, seeking the Lord is the most attractive thing you can ever do. You may think I’m crazy or disconnected from reality but it’s the truth. If a guy is truly seeking God’s will for his life then the number one thing on his mind, when it comes to dating or marriage, is “Does this woman love Jesus?” Now, don’t get me wrong here, you don’t follow Christ just so He will give you a hunk of a man who makes your heart go “pitter-patter” and makes all the other girls drool. That would be using God and that is bad news. We are all to follow Christ because He deserves our love, respect, and devotion…period.
Let me shift gears for just a moment because one of the things I was asked to write about were some ways that you, as young ladies, can actually help the guys in their quest to be pure. Well, I’m not going to give you a list of specifications for skirt length or tell you that you should wear turtle-necks that are four sizes too big and baggy sweatpants. That would help but I don’t think it gets at the real issue. The Christian life isn't about a list of rules that we shouldn't break, it's about a relationship with a person, Jesus Christ. Yeah, we should make an effort to follow the commandments but that effort should be born out of our love relationship with God.
Here is my advice in one sentence. It comes from Philippians 1:27, and it would be the same thing I would tell the guys;
Only conduct yourselves in a manner worthy of the gospel of Jesus Christ.
No matter what situation you find yourself in, whether you are getting up and deciding what to wear, or you’re hanging out with your friends, or you’re going to prom, ask yourself, “How can I act in a way that brings honor to God.” If you’re honoring God with the way you dress, the way you speak, and the way you act you are not going to be doing something that will cause a brother to stumble. Now, sometimes guys stumble anyway but I guess we can’t put the blame on you for that.
You see, though, this points us back to the idea of seeking God first. How are you supposed to know if your conduct is worthy of the Gospel? The answer is simple but it takes some time and effort. You have to spend time getting to know God, falling in love with Him by reading His Word and praying and seeking godly council from godly women. It’s all about God and when He thinks you’re a treasure then He is going to give you a treasure of a husband.
Let me wrap this up by saying this. The most beautiful thing in the world to a godly man, is a godly woman. My best friends, who are passionate about Christ, would tell you the same thing. In fact, I can’t think of any of my good, married friends who wouldn’t tell you that the most attractive thing about their wife, the thing that makes their heart bubble over with joy, is that their wife loves the Lord more than she loves her husband. There are a million guys in this world who want nothing more than a trophy to carry around on their arm and a girl who will go to bed with them, and it breaks my heart to see young ladies, who are treasures in God’s eyes, settle for those guys. DO NOT SETTLE FOR TRASH! If you spend your time being attractive in God’s eyes then there is going to be a man, a real man, who you will blow away.
But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. Matthew 6:33
That’s my two-cent’s worth from a guy’s perspective.
Husband to a Treasure