Semper Virilis Part 4: Passing the Torch
For
much of human history cultures have created ways to initiate boys into manhood.
Often these rites of passage were violent and painful, and failure to perform
could result in being ostracized from the community. In modern, American
culture we often associate rites of passage with the military and, though in a
negative sense, college fraternities.
The
underlying belief is that boys need to make a clean break with childhood and be
given a point of reference so that they deeply understand that they have become
men. Rick Bundschuh notes, “Throughout history, the honor of being a guardian
of a culture’s spiritual values, core beliefs, and standards of behavior was
bestowed upon a boy who had successfully gone through some kind of rite, test,
or ordeal.”[1]
Many
authors in the realm of Christian parenting and Christian manhood advocate for
some form of rite of passage or initiation for Christian young men. Lewis
frames these rites of passage as unforgettable ceremonies that the man can
reflect on for his entire lifetime. He states, “Ceremonies are those special
occasions that weave the fabric of human existence. Weddings. Award banquets.
Graduations. The day you became and Eagle Scout or were accepted into a
fraternity. We remember because of
ceremony.”[2]
Various
models have emerged for the actual event, or events, that initiate boys into
manhood. Lewis centers his model on four ceremonies that are based on four
stages in the life of a Medieval knight: the page, the squire, the knight, and
the promise/oath stage. Each of these corresponds with milestones in the boy’s
life.[3]
Bundschuh
uses the imagery of passing through fire and offers an event that can be done
over a weekend by the men in the community of faith. His vision is summed up
as, “a rite that contains elements, possibly even primitive ones, that men
quickly identify with and yet are honoring to Christ, relevant to the pressures
of being a man in today’s world, and doable for the typical church.”[4]
Steve
Wright offers a model of “passage trips” and “journey days” that are formative
for boys and girls but are still
gender segregated. He states, “The purpose of what we call ‘Passage Trips’ is
to help our children understand that they are transitioning to adulthood before
God, ready to own their own faith and ready to live for Christ.”[5]
Regardless
of the particular model of initiation rite there are some common elements that
seem to be agreed upon. The event or ceremony should be powerful, meaningful,
and transformative. To that one might also add mysterious and/or somewhat
challenging.
One
non-negotiable aspect of the transition process from boyhood into manhood is
the involvement of a community of men. When a boy is initiated into manhood he
needs to know that it is not just one man, a father or father-figure, who
acknowledges him as a man, but the larger community of men. For the Christian,
this means the men of the Church. This gives the new man a sense of belonging
and affirmation that he needs to navigate the treacherous waters of adulthood.
Regarding
the importance of community Bundschuh says, “This rite of passage should be
created by a community of Christian men: fathers, uncles, brothers, and
friends.” Lewis goes one step further, “Boys become men in the community of
men. There is no substitute for this vital component. Dad, if your boy is to
become a man, you must enlist the
community.”[6]
He points out that the presence of more men gives additional weight to the
values communicated to the young man by his father. It also creates more depth
of friendship, and expands the moral and spiritual resources available to the
young men.[7]
God
designed the Christian life to be lived out in community. In the Old Testament
God’s set-apart community was Israel and there were certainly serious
initiation rites for men to join that community. Under the New Covenant Christ
instituted His Church as a community of faith in the world but different from
it. While not quite as physically demanding as circumcision Christians do have
a form of initiation – baptism. The meaning of baptism is that the new believer
is publicly sharing in the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ. It is a
visible sign of the new birth that has taken place. Something has changed and
there is no turning back.
Likewise,
for young, Christian men there is a need for a ceremony, or rite, of the
community that clearly says to them, and the world, “I am now a man who will
seek after God’s heart, will be a servant-leader to those under my influence,
and live a life of sacrificial love.”
From thenceforth that man can say with the Apostle Paul, “When I was a child, I
used to speak like a child, think like a child, reason like a child; when I
became a man, I did away with childish things” (1 Corinthians 13:11).
Once
a young man passes from boyhood into manhood through the ceremony or rite of
choice he is then among the ranks of the men of the community. That
identification means there are new expectations and responsibilities as a man,
instead of a boy. However, this is not to be understood as simply throwing a
teenage boy into the depths of adult responsibility. In fact, an important part
of the transition into authentic manhood should be mentoring or a “continuing
education” of sorts. Rick Bundschuh calls this giving each new man a “wingman”
who, “is a man from the church who takes responsibility to keep an eye on the
young man, encourage him, pray for him, meet with him, teach him, and disciple
him.”[8] The same care that the Church takes in
discipling new believers should be taken in mentoring young, Christian men.
Conclusion
There is a tremendous amount of hostility toward the
biblical understanding of manhood. Of course, the root cause of this is the
world’s hostility toward anything relating to God’s truth. For the past four
decades, our culture has seen moral revolution after moral revolution including
the sexual revolution and feminist revolution. Both have had a profound impact
on authentic masculinity.
The combination of society’s opposition to manhood and
the Church’s failure to give men a clear definition of, and pathway to, manhood
has resulted in a massive breakdown in families and culture. Part of the
solution is to reclaim godly manhood and present it to the next generation
intentionally and by example.
While
there are numerous excellent definitions of manhood, one clear and concise
definition is; A man seeks after God’s heart, is a servant-leader to those
under his influence, and lives a life of sacrificial love. This is grounded in
the biblical examples of King David and King Jesus.
Involved
fathers are indispensable to the transmission of manhood from one generation to
the next. These men will set the example for their sons and grandsons, as well
as young men in the community of faith. They will also develop and execute some
form of a rite of passage for boys transitioning into manhood. The importance
of having affirmation from the community of men and having a ceremonial break
from boyhood cannot be overstated.
The
call for authentic, godly men has been sounding for, at least, twenty years and
it has not diminished. In fact, with the moral and ideological maelstrom that
is our culture, that call is more urgent than ever. The only question is
whether men in this generation will heed the call, or turn a deaf ear?
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